My Milkshake Brings All the Boys To My Blog

I know the drill.  The writer’s mind starts whirling, spinning around a plot of vicious characters, or piecing words into a brilliant, moving, sometimes even hilarious blog post.  We sit at our computers, typing vigorously, creating magic word porn for the world to see, while often sipping coffee (or wine), eating whatever is closest to our quickly moving hands, and piling wrappers on wrappers a top our already messy desks.

It’s one of those things.  Once we start, we cannot be interrupted, unless that Ding Dong is calling from our pantry, or maybe that bag of sour cream and onion chips…nah…those get the keys greasy.  My biggest vice while writing is hot tamales.  I always keep a movie theater box in my underwear drawer, and before heading to the computer, I grab a handful.  The problem is, hot tamales aren’t good fuel for my brain.  In fact, they do just the opposite.

“So what then?” asks the writer.

I have a solution, and it just so happens to be delicious and nutritious, a super easy recipe.  Don’t click the X yet.  Trust me…this is good.  Disclaimer:  I am NOT a cook.  Notice I didn’t even use “good cook” because I cannot cook.  I was banned from bringing anything that requires heat to Thanksgiving this year. I give you today’s lunch…

My omelette.  Shuddap, it tasted good.

My omelette. Shuddap, it tasted good.

And Tyler Florence's...or the husband's.  WTF?

And Tyler Florence’s…or the husband’s. WTF?


So here’s a treat that anyone, even this uncook can make.  Let’s just call it a milkshake cuz smoothie sounds way too *good for us*.

Things you’ll need…

  • Frozen blueberries, strawberries, or really any fruit that you like (I always get blueberries)
  • Bananas (I like to use the bananas that have started to spot and soften.  I chop them up and put them in the freezer for these…milkshakes)
Perfectly freckled

Perfectly freckled

  • baby spinach/fresh kale (or both)
  • FAGE plain 0% yogurt
  • Sweetener (I use Stevia, huz likes honey in his)
  • Milk (can use soy, almond, rice, coconut or good ole cow’s milk.  I use 0% organic milk)
  • A blender

All of these things can be found at your local grocery store…or even Wal-Mart if you’re brave (husband saw a huge rat in the gardening section yesterday at Wal-Mart while shopping for fertilizer, so we’re pretty much boycotting)

  • Add about a cup of milk (adding the liquid first helps to blend the solid ingredients more quickly).
  • Then add about 1 1/2 cups of blueberries (I never actually measure this stuff)
  • Add one banana (the riper, the better)
  • Add about a cup of the yogurt
  • Grab a handful of the spinach or kale or both, and throw that in the blender (or leave this out all together, but it’s a great way to get some greens without having to taste them)
  • Add your sweetener (if my bananas are really ripe, I go without sweetener)
It should look like this

It should look like this

  • Blend to desired consistency. (bartender trick: blend until the liquid makes a tornado with a visible hole in the middle.)
"There's no place like home."

“There’s no place like home.”

  • Pour it into your favorite glass, throw in a straw, and enjoy while you type
Bendy straws make it more fun

Bendy straws make it more fun

Here’s what you’re doing for your body. First, you replace a sugary snack with something that tastes sweet but will actually fuel your writer’s brain.  You’re offering yourself potassium, which will help you think more quickly while keeping your fingers from cramping.  Your ingesting antioxidants which not only help to slow the signs of aging (who doesn’t want that?) but also aid in cognitive functioning, and are just in general really good for the body.  In addition, if you add the spinach or kale, or better yet both, you’re providing your brain with iron which helps to replenish memory and aids in oxidative metabolism.  You’re getting fiber, which not only helps with your metabolism which is necessary because…sitting at a computer all day, but also fiber boosts your brain health in general.  Finally, you’re getting 23 grams of protein alone in the one cup of the Greek yogurt.  Your brain is made up of these things called neurotransmitters.  They communicate with each other to make you feel the way you feel.  They are made up of amino acids, which are the building blocks of… Protein.  Also, think about it…when you have a good quality meal high in protein and low in carbohydrates, you’re fueled for that writing session, but when you down that Double cheeseburger and fries, you have to pick your head off of your keyboard.

So there you have it, a milkshake that might just hold you until dinner.

Side Note:  sometimes I skip lunch when I’m writing, and this is a great meal replacement so that I don’t crash before dinner.

Side Note #2:  My kids drink these every day, so they’re getting all this good stuff, too, all the while thinking they’re drinking a milkshake.  Score one for mom.


42 thoughts on “My Milkshake Brings All the Boys To My Blog

  1. You’re spiking your kids’ drinks with green stuff? That’s insanely clever 😀

    And I loved the science lesson here – even though probably I might have known some of it. If I thought really hard or Googled it or something. Great recipe, but yaknow what? I’d never do it because I’m just too lazy. I just eat the banana and that’s the end of it.

    (also it’s slightly a lot adorable that you don’t cook and got banned from bringing cooked food to Thanksgiving…)


    • That banana is good for you but not in the way the entire combination is, but at least you’re eating something…just not ding dongs or twinkies, or anything that comes in plastic wrappers. And yes, I will sneak in green stuff any opportunity I can because everybody needs more greens.

      The Thanksgiving thing is a whole other story that I will have to tell you. I got a little angry about this one, and I may or may not have gotten my feelings hurt a little.


      • I tend to eat plenty of fruit and veg, and I cook from fresh most of the time, so I figure I’m about 80% alright on food. And I way can’t be bothered with washing up a blender 😀 My problem is laziness – I’d always rather eat a handful of something green from the fridge than go to the effort of making it into something.

        Good for you with the sneaky greens, though 🙂

        I think if someone banned me from bringing cooked stuff to a family ‘do’, and cited quality, I would be incandescent. You tell it! (all in good time, of course). I’m just gonna have to hope your ‘unplugged’ focus this week goes really efficiently so you can get back to writing here. There are a couple of stories I’m looking forward to hearing from you 🙂


  2. My breakfast ‘Cept I use almond milk, and I don’t always have a banana. I also throw in flax, chia seeds, and nutritional yeast (< vegan thing). YUM. I got a Ninja blender for X-mas that kicks my old blender's ass.

    If I'm in a rush, I also have a vegan meal powder that I put with almond milk and just shake the snot out of it. Sometimes I do it for a snack, too. Or lunch. But the fresh stuff is the best.

    good pics, M. Love yer counter tops. 🙂


    • Thanks, B. I have never heard of began meal powder, but maybe I need to get some. I’m not a big breakfast eater, so I need to start getting something with more protein. Occasionally, I’ll make one of these at breakfast, but what happens more frequently than not is that I pour a cup of coffee, come up to my computer and get sucked into the internet. I’ll usually break for another cup of coffee or two, but then before I know it, it’s time to go to the gym, and I haven’t had breakfast…not good. I need to get something into this routine, but…coffee. It’s so much more important to me than breakfast. And thanks for the nice compliment about my counter tops. I kind of like them too..a lot.


  3. I’m a hemp seed girl; no dairy, but half a fresh squeezed grapepfruit (vitamin c helps body to absorb iron), and cukes and celery. More of a green drink. My kid calls it “swamp in a cup.” His, I make more like yours with the frutis and stuff.
    I loved this post. It was fun, and different.!


    • I eat tons of celery as a snack. It’s something that I keep cut up in the fridge, so if I’m wanting something quick, I can just grab a little and go, but I’ve never tried hemp seeds. I may have to get some. I like green drinks, so I’m sure I’d like this “swamp in a cup” you’re referring to.

      I’m glad you liked this post. To be honest, I was making one and thought, hmmmm…maybe I should share this, so the post came from that.


  4. This sounds yummy! I love smoothies. I have a vitamix and that thing kicks serious ass! I’m going to have to try this one day to get some sneaky greens into my son. 🙂


    • I promise, Deanna, he won’t be able to taste the spinach. Just blend it really well. If you use blueberries, he won’t even be able to see the green. My blender is a $15 one from Target, and if it can do the trick, your vitamix will seriously get it done!


  5. I’m a big protein shake guy so something like this is what I would have for a meal.

    Also, I make a killer breakfast- omelets, pancakes, etc. Many a lady have bitten into my rolled pancake stuffed with blueberry preserves and topped with whipped cream!


  6. Yum! I can’t stand yogurt – do you taste any of its sourness in this, or is it hidden beneath the banana and berries flavor? I do love a good smoothie, and this is a great way to use the kale I get from the CSA that no one eats. Thanks, Mandi!


    • It’s not expensive at all, and the cool thing is I use the greek yogurt for so many other things. I even use it to make a veggie/chip dip with Hidden Valley Ranch Dip mix. It’s delicious another way to sneak in some protein during an afternoon snack.


  7. Like Dana, I don’t care for yogurt – but I find if I use frozen fruit and almond milk (and maybe some chia seeds to add a little umphh!) I get a wonderfully thick, yummy smoothie….er, milkshake. PS, I can’t even taste the spinach I put in mine – although it does turn the shake kind of a disgusting color sometimes.


  8. I love that you can make this instead of lunch, because sometimes I want to write as long as I can, and my turkey patty and salad lunch takes so long to make, while the easy protein pbj sandwich is a little too sweet/fattening to make a habit of!


  9. Omelettes are the hardest thing ever! I can cook okay…and I do mean okay…not false modesty. I can make some things. But omelettes? I think that’s like master level cooking – that and poached eggs. Eggs in general are hard. I usually just scramble mine. Can’t usually go wrong there.


  10. So I’m guessing that the Lucky Charms I eat and allow my son to eat are NOT a part of a healthy breakfast. I mean, I make him eat the marshmallow hats…they’re green.
    Kidding. I am starting to make shakes. Haven’t sold my boys on them yet.


  11. It’s so hard for me to wrap my mind around putting kale in a milkshake but I promise to try it.
    I used to make a daily smoothie– then I surprised myself by becoming even LAZIER than I’d already been. If only they made blender liners like those handy crock pot things…

    Also– that’s EXACTLY what all my omelets look like. Every damn time.


  12. Love a smoo–I mean SHAKE. I wrote a whole post on them, if I go more than a day or 2 without a shake, I start craving sugar like a methhead. Except I still can’t do kale, even blended it’s still like a mouthful of spiders. Yelck!


    • I pinch my kale so that it’s really small, and then I blend the shit out of it until I can’t see the green anymore. If it’s too blended, I add ice. I can’t handle the spiders either…and that’s a great way to put it.


  13. I’m so far behind on my blog feed, so just this comment is way overdue. Frozen bananas in smoothies are the best. And ice cream is a perfectly acceptable ingredient for a smoothie. At least in my house! Gotta balance out all the healthy stuff!


  14. Okay….that seriously, looked freaking delicious! We will be going out tomorrow and picking up some blueberries and banana’s & the rest of the ingredients. My only problem, will be waiting a few days to let my banana’s ripen! I WANT NOW! Inion’s doing the Vegan thing so she’ll love that you can use Almond Milk (it’s what she uses) lol as for the Walmart Rat….EW!!! Yeah that would gross us out too! Hope you don’t mind, gonna throw that recipe up on a few networks to give it some play. Yes, it looks that freaking good! And perfect timing with Summer on it’s way! Thanks for the milkshake!


  15. This is my breakfast every day!! Except I use a variety of berries, including blueberry but not exclusively 😉 It is yummy keeps me full and, I’m convinced, has stopped me getting sick so much this winter – it is the best!


  16. I want this right now – it looks so much better than what I’m having for lunch! (Hello granola bar, my old friend.)

    Also, my husband is also the FAR superior cook in this marriage. (I win!) Also-also, I’m more excited about that tornado blender tip than I should be!


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