The Penis Monologues Have Not Forgotten You

It’s been a while, but I had to bring back the Penis Monologues because basically, I still have questions, and they’re not even mine. Remember back when you all submitted your questions and I said, “Hey, we’ll do this every week until we answer them all?” Yeah, well, then summer happened, and I got sucked into the sunshine and water and jumping up every time I open my lap top to get a snack or break up a fight. But I haven’t forgotten you, my loyal readers, and when I make a promise, I keep it…even if it gets a little postponed. Forgive me? Good because I have a treat for you. Continue reading

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Gonna Sip Bacardi Like it’s My Birfday….

It’s my birthday! *throws confetti*

Funny, actually my birthday is never really a big deal for me. Ever. I grew up in a family where if we said “happy birthday, so and so,” that was enough. It was a BIG deal to get a card, and gifts..pfft. Who needs ’em?

But this year, wow. This year, people, a lot of people, came together and made my birthday a big deal. A really big deal, and I am floored, gobsmacked, honored, and humbled to no end at the thought. Continue reading

Leapin’ Lizards

“Mo-om!” My three year old daughter called from the bathroom. I slowly shuffled to where she was brewing with excitement with what awaited me. I helped her get herself in order. Then I washed my hands, dried them, and started heading out into the small hallway by my bedroom. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed movement in my bedroom. I quickly completed a status check in my head. It took me about half a second to realize son and dog upstairs, husband in his office, daughter and I in the doorway of the downstairs bathroom, but something moved in my bedroom.

I turned my head quickly and held my hand flat against my daughter’s chest to keep her in the bathroom. Just then, I saw a tail. Continue reading