The Penis Monologues (Pillow Talk 101)

Last week, we met my Fab Three who were all so very gracious to answer questions about appearance, both ours and theirs. If you missed it, click here to get enlightened.

To remind you, Dave is our single guy (totally on the market, and after reading his answers, if you’re single and not trying to pick up on this guy, you’re crazy) . Phil loves his girlfriend and is committed to just her (lucky girl), and Don is a happily married father of three (who makes me laugh…a lot).

Today we’re taking our Q & A to the bedroom and digging into their sexy thoughts, so, without further ado, put on your naughty clothes, pull out the cuffs and whips (or rose petals if that’s more your style), and let’s talk about S-E-X, baby.

Bryan Jones from Bryan Jones’ Diary, the ramblings of a menopausal man asked:

“From your perspective, what (if any) are the differences between making love and having sex?”

Dave:  Yes there is a huge difference. Having sex is when you just let loose and don’t give a shit about anything. Possibly you don’t even know them at all or that well. Your rhythm is off, but you don’t give a shit because you will probably never see her again. Sex is the physical act but with limited or no emotional connection at all. I have never seen a hot blonde at the mall and said “God I would love to make love to her.” I just want to use her. Sex is fucking. Making love is a whole other act. When you really truly love someone, you care about how she feels. You care about what you do to her or how you do it to her. You want her to feel better than you. You put her first. Making love is not just physical but it is such an emotional experience, and I hope everyone in life gets that feeling at least once. Then you will always chase that. Making love, you and your partner are so connected and so in tune with each other that everything is just right. You move together, feel together, breath together.  You are 100% comfortable with the act and hide nothing from each other. Making love can be described as both of your bodies being as one, and I believe that. You hold them a certain way. You kiss them a certain way. Even though you are intimate with that person, it still isn’t enough. It’s because you love her more than anything in this world.

Phil:  Making love is when you and your partner have an emotional bond during lovemaking. It’s slow, sensual, caring, rhythmic, and an expression of the feelings you have for one another. The type of sex with deliberate foreplay, then holding each other afterwards.

Having sex is when you fuck the shit out of each other and use each other’s bodies for the pure pleasure of it. This is the dirty, nasty, sweaty, biting, name calling kind of sex. The type when you bend her over the couch or kitchen counter top, rip down her pants, and just take her. Slapping the ass. It can be a quickie or the type that soaks the sheets. The kind where you tie your guy to the bedpost, smack him around a bit, and then ride him like a human fuck toy until you are satisfied.

Don:  Making love is what I do with a pie my grandma makes for Thanksgiving, while having sex is something that my wife and I do naked from time to time when the kids aren’t around.

Laura (who I have a super huge girl crush on and who also comes up with some fantastic questions) from History of a Woman asked:

“Do you prefer to be the more dominant one during sex, or do you prefer if your lady takes the lead? Why?

Dave:  Well hmmm. It kind of all depends. So the single bachelor side of me likes to be dominant but mostly because I don’t love this person or hardly know her. Haha. I like to feel like I conquered something, and it’s just a different feeling when you are in a relationship with someone. When I am in a relationship, I like to feel dominated but mostly because nothing excited me more than to know my girl is excited. I like her to take charge that way I know for sure she is getting what she wants. As she should. For example, I meet a girl, take her home. I have my way with her and do whatever want. When you are dating or in a relationship, the first few times you have sex, you are always asking, “what do you like?” or “what do you want me to do?” Because you truly want the best experience for her, so you put yourself second. Although, we always cum first.  Haha.

Phil:  It depends on the mood. I don’t mind at all when she takes the lead and dominates. It’s a turn on for lots of men to not always have to make the first move. We like to feel like sex objects, too, once in a while. It’s hot when a gal rides you cowgirl style and tells you what she wants in bed. Then again, there are the times when we like to be the one in control, tease, and seduce with our hands, mouth, tongue, until she is squirming out of breathless control and begs for it.

Don:  I like my wife to be assertive in this department so that she’s getting what she wants from me,  but overall, I guess I like to be the dominant one. Honestly, the wife and I are both pretty easy going overall, so if one of us didn’t take charge in the sex department, we’d probably both end up falling asleep staring at the ceiling waiting for the other to do something.

My bestie, Nikki Mathis-Thompson,  author of Rebound, Resilient, and the new release: This is Me, would like to know:

What are really thinking during sex? REALLY thinking?

Dave:  So for starters, sex isn’t always just sex. I never think about just one thing. There is “hi we just met” sex, “make-up” sex, “angry” sex, “I missed you” sex, etc. It’s always a different scenario and different feeling, so this question is hard to answer. Let’s just say generally speaking, what I think about is some sort of affirmation. I need to know that what I am doing is working. Don’t lie to me, help me help you. Nothing is more exciting to know a woman is excited and that what I’m doing is working. How many times have you had sex and you say, “I’m about to cum” just as your man says, “uuummmm…I don’t think so because I just did.” Haha. You need to start saying it sooner. Sometimes you get in, and it just feels too good. You start thinking about someone’s grandma or hockey. Most of the time, it doesn’t work though, and you look like a sixteen year old boy. I’ve also thought about real shit like being so in love with that person that I just want to be that close to her forever, and even though we are naked and sweaty and touching, it’s not close enough still.  That’s the amazing sex I miss. Then again,meeting a stranger and getting to yank on that bitch’s hair is cool, too.

Phil: I’m not thinking about baseball! I love women. I love sex. I think about what I can do more to her, and what the next position might be. I love to eat a girl out. I can go down on a chick forever until she is screaming. Truth!  Don:  I’m mostly thinking about how soon I need to finish my business to assure that I get six hours of sleep.

In the brilliant words of my new cyber friend and sister wife, Jennie, “Does anyone else need a metaphorical cigarette?

To my wonderful guys who are so open and apparently very good in bed, thank you so much for your honesty and candor and for taking the time to answer these questions. I have a feeling that more than one of us will take this knowledge to the bedroom soon, for some of us…tonight. My husband will thank you later.

So….What do you think? Did they answer the questions the way you expected? If you’re a man, would you have answered differently? I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this subject. This is just the beginning…You all provided me with some excellent questions, and my guys are doing a great job answering, so if they’re game, we’ll keep this going. There are whispers of some other blogger friends who might also be interested. If you would like to join the panel or would like to nominate someone to sit on the hot seat, please, pretty please with a cherry on top, let me know. 



113 thoughts on “The Penis Monologues (Pillow Talk 101)

  1. Onya boys, I like the way none of you sound like you’re worried about standing on the other boys toes even if your answers go in opposite directions…so, if honesty isn’t really is the best policy then it’s sure as hell an entertaining policy when it comes to you lot. Geez Don, I’m starting to think we were separated at birth or something…spookily the same answers I’d have coughed up. Keep it coming fellas. Nice one Mandi. Cheers REDdog


    • REDdog,

      We’re just keeping it real here. Everyone is different in what they enjoy and viewpoints towards sex. From the vanilla, to the kinky, to something in between. There’s no wrong answers. Sex is fun.


      • Haaa! If by scary you mean satisfied with a monogamous, long term, even staid, low maintenance marriage where family means everything and sex is a gift not a given, then I suppose, yes, scary. I’m sure we’re not alone mate. Cheers Red


    • Thanks, RD. I had a lot of fun with this one. I think I’m going to bring these guys back for a little more, but I’m giving them a break for a week or so. We’ll see if they’re up for more after this week! They were definitely honest. Can’t complain about that!


  2. I got OUT OF BED to read this, and I’m not disappointed at all! OHMYGOD I’m grinning so huge. Love these guys! They are GREAT sports and were incredibly candid. I think Phil needs to write porn. *fans self* Wow. As if I wasn’t hot for him before……;)

    I think I might need to read this again. Three times. Slower. hahahaha!

    Great job, Mandi!


  3. Oh dear Lawrd. Totally reminds me of when Cimmorene told me “You’re the one who’s the freak” in response to one of Samara’s posts. The mention of dominance… whoo boy. As far as BDSM, I’m definitely onboard for the B and the D but not really so much the S & M.

    But back on topic… I’m surprised no one asked about the subject of emotion and sex. There’s a long standing stereotype that men can compartmentalize emotion, i.e. have sex without an emotional bond happening, and… that’s just not my experience. Before I met Cimmy, I dated a woman, more or less just for the sex. The sex was mind-blowing. The relationship? Awful. She was a Pot Head (and yes I’m capitalizing for emphasis). I’m glad I figured I wanted a whole lot more.


    • Jaklumen,

      You make a good point. Us men really do have emotions during sex. Yes, we sometimes don’t show it as much as women do, but a sexual relationship is much better with someone you care about and make a connection with. Then again, I also had great sex with women like the one you mentioned. I think we’ve all been there at one time.


      • Yeah, absolutely. This was a long time ago… I’ve been married over 15 years now. What bothered me was that although the physical connection had been there, we just had so very little in common. It was a good experience in that I figured out that I *did* like to be domestic, and I knew what I needed to do to have the relationship that I wanted. My missus is around WordPress, so chances are you’ll see what I mean in time.


    • Jaklumen, we have tons more questions that these guys haven’t answered, and I’m sure there are even more that haven’t been asked. I know we’ll tackle emotion and sex, but I do think that at least they touched on the emotion when they discussed the difference between having sex and making love. BTW – what’s wrong with Pot Heads? Kidding..kind of.


  4. Let me see if I got this right.

    So, Phil likes to be smacked around and treated like a human fuck toy. And says that is nasty, dirty and involves biting and ass play.

    Dave thinks differently during various kinds of sex, such as angry or make-up sex, but sometimes hockey or his grandmother is involved. He wants to use the hot blonde at the mall, but he’ll yank my hair cause I’m a bitch.

    Don wants to put his business in a pie. Didn’t they make a movie out of that?


  5. So, most likely, my husband would like me to take control in the bedroom? As well as being in charge of the house, the kids, the cooking, the shopping, the family budget and working… Riiiight. If he was more proactive about changing the sheets though, maybe I’d be more proactive at getting down and dirty in them. Surely the true definition of tit-for-tat?


  6. And this is why we all think of Phil as the rock star he is!! Hotberg is a wonderfully appropriate nickname for him!! Great answers from all the guys! Glad they are having as much fun answering as we are reading!! Nicely done, Mandi! 😉


    • Thanks so much!! I have more questions if they’re game for answering more. I gave them a little reprieve this week since they’ve been so good to me the last two. I’m also playing around with the idea of changing the guys around weekly. This will keep my Fab 3 from getting burned out, and will also provide us with an even broader spectrum of testosterone. Win, win if you ask me.


  7. These guys are hilarious and I loved it. I can’t agree with the love-making vs. sex part though…at least for the husband and I. It’s always fucking. Sex is for pleasure around here. We leave the emotional stuff for cuddles or when co op Xbox time. 😀


  8. This series is highly entertaining and enlightening. I think Nik’s question was covered fairly well by Dave too…guys really do have to start thinking of their granny or something that turns them off sometimes to slow it down. While other guys need to envision Victoria Secret models or what they saw on porn hub last night just to get it up…men are just as different as each of us ladies are. Don was totally honest…and honestly I have had the same thoughts…haven’t y’all? That ‘when will this end so I can go to sleep?’ kind of obligatory fuck to make your partner happy even though you aren’t in the mood…Phil dodged the question completely and blinded us with that image…lol


    • Hi, Stephanie, and welcome! I’m so glad you’re getting some entertainment form this series. You make some excellent points here. I think the three guys did a pretty good job at answering the questions. Dave made me laugh with that comment about his grandma, though. Knowing that he has a pretty badass grandmother only fueled my laughter. I absolutely loved Don’s answers. They’re all so cute!! I know I’m going to sound like a mommy, but I’m really proud of all three of them!


  9. I’ve loved Phil, Don and Gary for a very long time (and for me, that’s saying something since I tend to love ’em and leave ’em), but I’ve never come across Dave. He’s fantastic! 😀 Loved this!


  10. I just clinked the link to Jennie’s page, and WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO???

    I’m not ordinarily the jealous type, but there was a whole of “stuff” happening. Reciting each other Menudo lyrics, or whatever, back and forth. And all this *winking* going on, right on this page.

    You can be the first mistress, but you know she’s my blog wife, right?

    Menudo. Pffffft.


  11. Hahahaha!

    Fantastic! Love these, thanks for the honesty and questions!

    My only thing is that I hate it when a guy feels that because he has feelings for me we can’t have the dirty fucking.

    I can’t live without that! Making love is great, but sometimes having nails, teeth, hair pulling and ass smacking is better!


    • I’m with you! I’ve been married forever and when we do get the chance to do it, like those rare times the kids are all occupied and not pounding on the door and saying, “why is your door locked? Or OMG that is so gross, could you be quieter Mom?” I want to REALLY do it! The rougher the better! I’ll take I will take hot, raw, I have to have you right now passion over sweet and slow any day! When I say “pull my hair” I mean pull it! HARD! Like someone commented earlier, romance and sweetness is for cuddle time.


  12. I officially need to take a shower, and not just because I’m fresh back from the gym. I read this while eating my (late) lunch and it made my quinoa salad seem incredibly carnal. I wouldn’t have thought that possible.


  13. I’m a form believer in both fucking and making love, you know, time and place for everything. 😉 I love this series and you guys are all awesome. I love the answers and Phil, you come across exactly same would’ve imagined.


    • Thanks, Deanna. What great sports I found for my debut of “What men think,” right? They’re so great, so honest, and can make me laugh while dishing it all out. I’ve had so much fun. I’m looking forward to the next installment, and also featuring The MandiCave. It’s going to be so much fun.


  14. This was awesome. I’m reading along after question one thinking oh yeah this Dave guy is pretty awesome, then I get smacked in the face with Phil’s imagery and the ride (pun intended) just kept getting better 🙂
    As far as Grannies and hockey, if you’re with someone for awhile they usually know what is going to set you off and how far they can go before you… well… go. Husby and I have been together for 7 years and the more we have got to know each other the better bedplay has got. We recently had a discussion where he told me that he had always been told that sex dried up after marriage and for a lot of his friends it was true, one of them gets it once a month if he is lucky… I was kind of horrified. Making love/sex etc. is pretty much the most fun two people can have together, it’s free and mostly safe (depending on how much hardware people get involved – always read instructions people), plus awesome exercise!! Why on earth would you do it so rarely?! Is it weird that I felt pity for them and immediately declared we were going to bed?


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