It seems that people aren’t getting smarter with the invention of smart everything, so in keeping with the giving season that it is, I’m offering you a quick guide to help you not look stupid. Or Stupider. Part of it is your own fault:
A lot = two words
A lot of you never learned this.
Cannot = one word
I cannot stand it when people think cannot is can not.
Anyways = not a word. Let me repeat: ANYWAYS IS NOT A WORD.
What way would you like to go? Any ways. Because ways is singular. OH WAIT! Ways is plural. Any is singular. Can’t work together, not ever.
Any way you try it, anyways will never be a word, but people will continue to use it anyway.
Your means ownership
You’re is a contraction: You are
So, here’s something that might blow your mind: It’s not “your welcome.” It’s “you’re welcome.” You cannot own a welcome. I don’t care how hard you try. You can however own a welcome mat. Your welcome mat says you’re welcome to come inside.
There going to they’re grandmother’s house over their. Guess what? Grandma is going to die first because they’re never going to make it there until they realize their grammar needs help.
You do not loose your keys.
Your pants are not lose.
You may lose your keys because your pants are too loose, but that’s a personal problem.
I am not “to” opinionated unless you are “to” stupid to understand that there are two (no wait) three words that all sound the same, and as adults who type, you should probably learn the difference. I have two friends. I would like one to be my best friend. The other one is too dumb. She says “anyways.”
Its a pretty day outside because the sun is shining in all it’s glory. Nope!
It’s: a contraction of It is
Its shows ownership.
I know it’s confusing because the English language has done its job to be a great big challenge.
Because you were your jeans too tight, it made it difficult to make it to wear you where going. Because where you were going was obviously not a book store, but you can wear whatever you want. You can’t accessorize stupid no matter how hard you try.
I have a whole nother subject to discuss. If you could see my screen, you would see that there is a red jagged line under nother. Take out whole. Push a and nother together. And I’ve just given you yet another thing to make you look less stupid. Lucky for you, I’m charitable.
Other things you should probably never ever say:
Seriously. Just . . . don’t.
Chances are, if you’re reading this, you already know these things and were able to have a good laugh. Feel free to share this on Facebook as I’m certain 99.7% of people who use it daily should have had to sit through Mrs. Lawrence’s third grade grammar lessons because they still say “should of.”
PS: I literally want you to share this because I figuratively want you to have my back.