Occasionally, someone strolls into my life and just fits right in and becomes an instant friend. Today I get to introduce you to one of those people. Briton of Punk Rock Papa is one of the kindest bloggers on the internet. He is always quick to help out if you need something or to just send a “how’s it going?” message. He makes me laugh, and hearing him talk about his wife, his twin toddlers, and brand new baby boy warms my heart. Please give a warm welcome to my new friend, Briton.
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What an honor to be here!
After talking to Mandi, I ran out and bought some shoes to dance and groove in. Then I realized, I can’t dance!
Much to the dismay of probably every follower of Mandi’s, I am not the cool gay Briton she danced with in Kansas City.
My insecurity is rising and anxiety from being in over my head is swelling to a burst of full-blown panic attack.
I must find something interesting to share with the one or two people who haven’t yet exited the screen when they realized I am not Gay Briton from Kansas City.
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When my wife and I found out we were having twins, I almost fainted. Tunnel vision set in. My life flashed before my eyes. There was no way I could handle two babies at once!
Eight months and a scary emergency C-section later, there I was! Holding two of the most handsome babies to ever grace the world with their beauty and life. (I’m allowed to be biased; I made these little guys with my skilled unprotected coitus). I assume parents everywhere know that feeling when they first hold their offspring – the swell of happiness and love that fills your chest. It’s a really spiritual moment, even for those not spiritually inclined. You feel the bond, like an invisible umbilical cord, between you and the child.
I didn’t sleep for a month after my kids were born. Absolutely terrified of SIDS, I would get out of bed intermittently and jab my kids in the stomach with a finger to make sure they were still alive. If I was working, the wife would get a “poke the babies” text.
Flash forward six more months. (We are at around seventh months of life for those not very good with counting)
“Killian and Nicolas Underwood?”
Here we came around the corner at the doctor’s office. Dad and kids. It should be noted that I was *carrying* the kids by the front of their winter bear suits. Here we come, Papa Bear and his Cubs, arms and legs wildly dangling.
The look on the face of the nurse at the pediatricians office said everything.
Shock quickly turned to laughter. The kids and I are rather popular at the doctor’s office. We laugh and joke and hate the nurses who give shots. Usually when we’re called in, I’ve got one kid tucked under my arm, newspaper-style, and I’m dangling the other one upside down.
Why do you care, why does this story matter?
Rewind! (I know, bear with me.) (See what I did there?)
After finding out we were expecting twins, the first place we visited was the bookstore. From What To Expect When You’re Expecting to Twins, Multiples, we got All The Books! Even found some dad books for me to read!
And read, I did
By the end of the first book I had to check and make sure the author wasn’t Stephen King.
The second book had me calling a doctor asking for a prescription to quell my parent anxiety attacks.
SIDS! Sidebumpers! Cradle Cap! OH MY!
The first month of parenting I leaned on these terrifying books. They are the cousins to the whole “if you have unprotected sex you will get an STD and die!” style of teaching. Their motto is, “If you don’t do this, your child will die of SIDS!”
After the first month, I was ready to purchase bubble boy suits for the kids.
I can’t remember the exact moment I realized I had been worked up into a frenzy. I just remember it happened after about a month of sleep deprivation and being alert to every possible sign of baby sleep apnea. I had to dial back. I couldn’t live in fear that my Nemos might run into something bad at the drop off.
Flash forward! (Hop in my DeLorean. We are going Back to the Future!)
My kids are almost two. We have a blast. All my friends have largely fallen off the radar, so my kids take up that space and time. From wrestling to running around, I simply love fatherhood. Even snuggling up and watching Kipper the Dog is time well spent. I still poke my kids occasionally to make sure they’re breathing, but I don’t have nearly as many heart attacks as I used to.
And the best part?
We DANCE!
Yes, this has all been a big build up so I could follow up on Mandi’s awesome dance post with ANOTHER post about dancing. We have the most fun kitchen dance parties! Nothing like two toddlers and a dorky dad moving and grooving during lunch time. So, on a late night in Kansas City you might be able to catch a ride to dance at the gay bar with Briton. You can also, if you’re inclined to do so, come catch an afternoon kitchen dance party in New London.
Either way, life should be fun! Whatever you’re doing – from dancing late into the night, to shimmying around a kitchen with toddlers, live in the moment – and enjoy it.
Briton “Punk Rock Papa” Underwood is a proud Parent, Writer and Original Bunker Punk. His passion for writing is second only to his passion for parenting. Co-founder of the Original Bunker Punks, Punk Rock Papa enjoys helping people’s thoughts, stories and emotions be heard. You can find him on his personal blog or on the Original Bunker Punks writing about what he loves, the people around him.
To learn more visit: Punk Rock Papa, Original Bunker Punks
Cellulite Looks Better Tan 
🙂
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😃
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Oh Papa you explained the journey to parenthood just perfectly. I too read all the books, watched all the shows, and felt all the anxiety. I still remember coming home from the hospital with my husband and newborn baby. I sat in the backseat to make sure that my precious son was breathing, while listening to Elton John’s Tiny Dancer. Then we arrived home and put our baby in his car seat in the middle of the living room and wondered now what. We got through that first year and many more, and lived to do it again with baby number two. Excellent post Papa. All the best to your lovely family. 😊❤️
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It’s so true. I remember the first night we brought our son home from the hospital. I’ve never been more terrified. And then he had one of those explosive poops two seconds into getting into the house which made us all jump and my dog run and hide under the bed for the rest of the day. I can’t imagine two of them. Briton is a superhero papa.
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Yes I agree, explosive poops are scary and you wonder how and why a beautiful tiny baby could do such a thing!!! Papa is a superhero and Mama is super Mom. 💞
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Briton is one of my favorite people as well. The gay one, from Kansas City. 🙂 Great post, Papa!
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I really miss the gay one from Kansas City, but Briton (PRP) is gradually replacing the old one…does that even make sense?
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OMG I totally remember being fucking terrified of SIDS. We were so tense back then! I guess every new parent is, though. Part of the journey. Second kid? meh….he’s fine. hahaha
Briton, you are awesome. I love your sense of humor and your laid back nature. Your boys are gooooorrrrgeous!
And tattoos? Oh honey, you know I’m down with ink. You are one very cool cat.
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I Have actually poked and done the morrow breathing check…I would also stare and watch all 3 of mine breath…the first month with my twins was a blur of naps, feeding, and changing diapers…I can so relate
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I can’t tell you how many times I turned up the monitor so that I could hear them breathing only to be certain that it was the hum of the AC, so I ended up hovering over the crib with my hand on their chest feeling the rise and fall with sweet relief.
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I love that you still jab them to make sure they are breathing. Dialed the freak out back JUST enough I’d say 😉 great read as always B!!
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Dialed the freak out back…well.?.? I still have to check on mine before I go to bed every night, and they’re 8 and 4, but I don’t poke them anymore.
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Omg right? Those books are HORRIBLE! I’m sure they’re well-meaning ish, but I tossed What to Expect When You’re Expecting after page 7. I can have nightmares all by myself thank you very much…This is a great post – it’s so lovely to see a dad so into parenting! Kudos and nice to meet you!
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Isn’t it refreshing to hear the dad’s side of things? I love that he has some of the same fears and insecurities as I did when mine were babies, and yes…those books need to be burned..wait.
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I just checked to see if my son was breathing two days ago and he’s almost a year old. I guess old habits die hard. Great post (as usual) Briton. The picture in my head of you dangling your kids by their limbs seems 100% in line with how I envision you in real life. Although Mandi’s description of you was maybe a little too generous…I was waiting for the “just kidding” at the end or some sort of dick joke 😉
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I think the main thing I took from this was just how much you CARE, Briton, and the lengths and depths to which you’ll go to ensure to the very best of your ability that you are being absolutely THE BEST EVER DAD POSSIBLE to your children. And that is something which is worth more than all the fancy dancing or nicely written books in the entire world, ever.
Just keep doing that – everything else will fall into place 🙂
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But fancy dancing is so much fun…I will fancy dance with you when you come to ‘Murica, Lizzi. And, isn’t he precious? I kind of want him to just take over and write here all the time, but maybe that’s just because I’m too lazy to write these days.
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I currently owe my pilates teacher a meme (which I need to make) called “My inner dancer is a brick, with Tourette’s” – you’re very welcome to try to teach me, but I have very little sense of grace, and am apt to screw it up or become so inhibited I turn into a statue.
Don’t do yourself down. You’re allowed other things to happen in life and in writing 🙂
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I want to leave a comment but I’m so freaking distracted that the fabulous MOLLYTOPIA is back in the blog world!
(okay, enough fangirling!)
Another great post by the best dad I know. 🙂
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I know!!!! I saw her little gravatar and actually squealed out loud. Hi, Samara!!
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I am so not cut out to be a dad, parent, guardian, etc. I’ll admit it and own it. I live vicariously through all of you parents. You do sound like a cool dad.
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HOTBERG!!!!!!!! I’ve missed you. How’s my favorite NY hottie, and it’s Valentine’s week. I can’t wait to see what you post this week about the obnoxious day.
In more relevant news, I think it’s pretty impressive that you recognize that fatherhood isn’t in your bag. Too many men don’t realize that until it’s too late, but I think everything about you is impressive. *winks*
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What a delightful post!! We parents all know that the first time around is unnerving as it is with one! I admire how well you handled yourself with two!!
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Unnerving, terrifying, exhausting…yes. All of that. Isn’t he great how he seems to handle it all with grace? AND there’s two of them!! Or three now.
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Oh Briton! I bet you’re a spectacular daddy….baby poking included! Sounds to me like you have one blessed, sweet family.
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I agree, Sandy!
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