A Waxing With A Happy Ending

I showered today and put on make-up. I know. Then I waved to my husband and headed out. I had plans to lunch with a girlfriend, but before, I wanted to get my eyebrows waxed.

I drove the one block to my place where I always go, where everybody knows my name. (Cue Cheer’s Theme song.) The girl at the front desk motioned me to go back to the waxing room. She used to walk me back there, but now we’re tight, so she just kind of looked over her shoulder like, “Well, you know the drill.”

I walked into the tiny room, placed my purse on the small folding chair and laid back on the table (noting that the sheet covering it was the same Southwestern pattern as the last time I got my eyebrows waxed and the time before that.) I waited for a few minutes listening to the zen music playing in the background, trying to ignore the potential germs residing on the unwashed sheet before a cute little Asian woman walked in.

She tugged her shirt up and said with a giggle, “Got to cover up the boobies.”

I laughed and then pulled my own (slightly) low cut shirt up and said, “I’ve been covering up the boobies all day.”

She responded, “No, no. If you’ve got ’em…show ’em.” And then she leaned down and winked at me.

We laughed a little. Then she got to work, waxing my brows. During the process, she complimented them, “They’re so thin and pretty.”

I replied, “They’re too thin. I hate them. I wish I had thicker eyebrows, but I’ve never been able to grow them.”

She shushed me, saying, “No, yours are perfect.” We quieted our conversation as she applied  hot wax and ripped off strips of cloth from my face.

After the waxing was complete, she put the special balm over my brows. It has a cooling effect and takes the sting away immediately. I sighed my approval. Then she kept applying it to my entire face. I mentioned that I had make-up on and that she didn’t need to bother with it, but she tapped my forehead and said with authority, “Shhh…you like it.”

I shhhh’d and let her rub my face.

Then she decided to take it further South and began to massage my shoulders. Then my chest. Did I mention how low cut my shirt was? This is not the typical eyebrow waxing I normally get.

When she finished, she showed me my eyebrows in the mirror and complimented how pretty they were. Truth – they were. She did an amazing job. We admired them in the reflection of the hand mirror together. Then I got up from the table and collected my purse, heading out to pay.

She followed me to the reception desk.

As she rang me up, she asked while arching an eyebrow, “Do you work out?”

I nervously laughed and said, “Um, yes,” as I handed her my credit card.

“I can tell. I was looking at your legs while we walked,” she said handing me my credit card slip.

Maybe she was just fishing for a large tip…

Maybe she caught one.

Either way, I left with a bit of an inflated ego and what may or may not have been my first lesbian experience.

Shhh...

Shhh…

I went home and touched up my makeup then went straight to lunch where I retold the story and ordered one or two stiff margaritas. Does anyone else need a cigarette?

Advertisements

52 thoughts on “A Waxing With A Happy Ending

  1. This was definitely a lesbian experience. There’s no way in hell people massage your boobies and look at your legs while you walk just for quick tips. Congratulations girl! Happy ending indeed! 😉

    And you reminded me of my first lesbian experience. It was back in 2002 when I didn’t even know girls did that to each other. Gotta write about that!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have thick unruly eyebrows (there will come a time when it will be eyebrow, singular) so I have had my fair share of waxing and threading, and nobody has ever massaged my boobies. So I say yes, congratulations, you are a lesbian!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel disappointed that this is your first semi-lesbian experience, and sad that I never get drunk messaged by any hot ladies or even average looking ladies or men. My neighbor ass dials me from time to time when he’s drunk, so I guess that’s something. You know that your workouts are doing the trick when the Asian hair puller lady notices your toned legs and back and ass and quads and stuff. Keep that up.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Eyebrow waxing with happy endings? Lesbian experiences with boobie squeezing and compliments for tips?! Is this what really goes on in these places?
    I’ll have to ask Honey what happens when she gets waxed. Clearly she has been holding out on me 😉

    Like

    • I have a strict philosophy that when a woman checks you out, or compliments you, it’s five times greater than a man because women are bitches and super critical. On a different very unlesbian note, I was in the locker room at my gym the other morning, and this older woman was just getting out of the shower. I swear, my friend and I were talking about how modest my friend is because we were taking before and after pictures, and while we are having this conversation, the woman puts one leg up on the bench and starts drying her lady bits very vigorously in front of us. I laughed. I couldn’t help it. That is what you call irony.

      Like

  5. Note to men, my boyfriend goes with me to get pedicures – I didn’t catch on the first few times, but he always got the young ladies with the big boobies, low shirt, whatever, he tips big and pays for mine too, who cares, he leaves with me, we go to lunch. 😍! Everyone is happy. Couples massage, whole other story, he has to have big huge man, because his back is so bad! Hahah! Pay back!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The first time I took my husband for a pedicure, he got saddled with this cute little man, and he was so uncomfortable that I asked my lady to switch with him. He would go much more often if he got a good view of the boobies. I may have to make a special request next time.

      Like

      • I know, especially since I have none, I am like whatever. He “foots” the bill! Boyfriend is almost 50, I am 40, I doubt he is leaving because I don’t have boobies. lol. And if I had to do pedicures on nasty men’s feet, I would get a good push up bra, a low cut shirt, and work it, for a good tip too! 👏🎉😊!!’ Have a great weekend!!

        Like

  6. Ha! Oh my gosh, took me forever to get over here but it was so worth it. This reminds me of Beth’s threesome proposal in the kitchen. I must be doing something wrong, women so rarely try to rub my boobs or get me in their beds.

    Like

  7. You have no idea how much I laughed at “Shhh…you like it.”

    Back when I lived in NY, I used to get my legs waxed by the same woman for about 15 years. She was a large, soft-spoken Russian woman who was around 45 when I was 20. She massaged the hell out of my legs after each waxing, and I always thought (hoped?) that was a normal part of the process.

    Needless to say, when I went to other waxists, the massage didn’t happen. Two things occurred to me: One, the massage had definitely not been normal. Two, I missed it.

    Like

Go ahead ... say something. You know you want to.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s