I don’t claim to be the most fashionable person in the room. Ever. But I pay attention to what others wear, and I can usually embrace most trends even if I don’t necessarily wear the style. I try to be open minded. When skinny jeans became popular, I had just birthed an eight pound baby, and I had no expectations of ever wearing anything “skinny” until a friend suggested I try on a pair, and voila: I looked skinny.
I’m not upset about the concert t-shirt coming back around or the bright colors from the eighties. I love color. I guess what I’m trying to say is that for a thirty something girl, I’m adaptable, and I want to stay hip. There are lines though that I can’t cross. That I won’t cross.
Apparently I missed the new trend in dresses. I’m calling it: Cootchie Couture.
I attended my nephew’s wedding this past weekend. He’s twenty-six, so most of his friends are around the same age. I never thought I would be one of the older women in the room who couldn’t embrace the current fashion. Until Saturday night.
The majority of the girls at the wedding wore dresses that only slightly covered their booties. They brought a new definition of short to the short dress. I have no problem with a nice sexy dress. I have a few, and occasionally I’ll pull one out and where it, but I like to, at the very least, be able to bend over without showing my entire ass. These girls didn’t care. Their asses were on display All.Night.Long.
They danced, spinning around the dance floor, letting their bottoms cool in the breeze. True story. I saw more than one set of butt cheeks on the dance floor. I was sitting next to my seventy-four year old father. It was awesome.
There were the short and flowing dresses.
And then there were the short and tight dresses.
Let me say this. These girls were gorgeous with pretty rocking bodies. Most wore the dresses well, except for the fact that when I see a girl whose vulva is hanging out of her dress, the first thing I wonder is why must it be so sexy? What is she trying to achieve?
I understand the high that comes from feeling like the prettiest girl in the room. I get that, but there’s pretty, and then there is over the top.
I wonder if our younger generation is too concerned with being overtly sexy. Just look at Instagram. I follow several fitness sites, and it’s mostly girls in almost nothing posing for pictures of themselves in the mirror. Duck faced with their boobs and butts hanging out. They get 10,000 likes, and men from all different languages tell them how sexy they are.
What scares me the most is that I have a four year old daughter. She was there at the wedding. Looking up to these girls on the dance floor (probably seeing their labia), and if this is what she thinks is “pretty,” what will she want to wear when she is twenty five?
I don’t want my daughter to think that sexual objectification is okay, and I worry that this fragile world where we live is going to give her that idea.
Here’s the kicker. I’m a huge hypocrite. I still boldly wear my bikini (even though some say I’m too old). I still wear shorts, sometimes they’re short. I still wear sexy dresses. I like the way I feel when I know I look great in what I wear. Who doesn’t? But I think that very fine line between sexy and sexualized is being crossed by this new trend: Cootchie Couture.
So to the girls whose vulva were showing at the wedding, I’d like to say this, “You are smart, and funny, and incredibly beautiful with long sexy legs without a trace of flab or a single dimple from that evil asshole cellulite. You seem kind and are probably a really great friend, and it looks like you make your boyfriend very happy. You don’t have to try so hard. You are unique and wonderful. Go cover up your vulva. Your mama will thank me.”
***I originally planned to post pictures that I took from the wedding, but I didn’t think that would be fair, so the pictures that you see were not actually at the wedding. The dresses were shorter. True story.
Next week on Cootchie Couture: Swimwear: The MaxiPad bikini (you think I’m kidding).
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