Long and Smooth

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I’ve always had a healthy admiration of Latin men. It’s no secret. I love dark mysterious eyes framed in whispy black lashes, light chestnut skin, pretty pink lips. Ay Dios Mio! Tulipanes humedos!

Some of you might recall the last time Beth and I had coffee. We coined the phrase: Moist Tulips ©. Well, here’s a new phrase for you: Long and Smooth ©. I can’t explain this one, but I’ll add some content in this post that might help.

Last week, Beth received something very special in the mail: Her first ever paperback copy of her first ever novel. If you haven’t pre-ordered your copy, do so now here.

To celebrate, we decided to have some Mexican food, margaritas, and laughs. We had ample amounts of all three, particularly the last.

We took pictures that will only make sense to our SisterWives, but made us spew tequila all over the table. Here’s one. Use your imagination with this one.

I did not purposely take a photo of the female waitress pegging the male waiter.

I did not purposely take a photo of the female waitress pegging the male waiter.

Thanks to our very eccentric waiter who wanted to motorboat  lick ravage become a fan of Beth, the night will not soon be forgotten. Gonzavo esta muy guapo. Gonzavo loved Beth, and her book. He said to her once, and I quote in a sexy Latin accent, “I am keeping an eye for you. Or is it better for you or on you?”

To which Beth replied, “In me. (cleared throat) I mean on me. On me.” And I concurred. Like a doctor.

When we showed him her book, he got reader wood.

Reader Wood

Reader Wood

Coming soon to a book store near you. Oo7 read by Gonzavo.

Coming soon to a book store near you. Oo7 read by Gonzavo.

 

He focused on the number seven and even gave us a very confusing yet intriguing bible lesson. Again in sexy Latin accent, “Did you know of the importance of the number,” pause for dramatic effect,  “of seven?” We nodded and leaned in closer to hear more of his seductive patois compelling lecture. I have no idea what he said, but it sounded … sigh … enticing.

I never realized I was a match maker, but I think I may have helped these two create a love connection.

Es amor?

Es amor?

As we paid our check, Gonzavo said to Beth, “I think I will be watching you. That was something really special to me. You brought it.”

When Gonzavo left us, Beth looked at me and said, “I’m about to get some long and smooth.” (There’s your explanation. You’re welcome.)

At some point, I noted that Beth said, “You can’t forget ten cats. That’s a lot of pussy.” But I cannot figure out the context of this one, so there you have an added Bethism.  I promise this is true.

See? I took notes. Who does that?

See? I took notes. Who does that?

 

At any rate, when two bloggers who are real life friends get together to celebrate a book that has been the topic of more than a gazillion conversations, well, sparks fly.

Two writers in a parking lot with an iPhone = trouble

Two writers in a parking lot with an iPhone = trouble

Que le gusta hombres latinos? Have you read Beth’s book? Do you like margaritas and getting caught in the rain? Do you like reading posts about nothing? Still here? Click here to get a sneak peak at my book cover … see it wasn’t about nothing after all. (That was a purposeful double negative.)

59 thoughts on “Long and Smooth”

  2. Jesus Christ, you take notes? Lol. Dork.

    I’m jealous of Gespatcho for getting to serve two beautiful women margaritas at the same time.

    I would totally buy an audiobook of Gespatcho reading OO7!! Make that happen!!

    I’m proud of Beth though for reals and look forward to Mandi’s book as well. I imagine it’ll be filled with tawdry, sexual freakiness, but I’ll read it anyway.

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  3. You have no idea how hard (she said hard) I laughed reading this!! Yeah, who takes notes? But I’m very glad you do because I never remember anything. Funny, I was at Gloria’s tonight but didn’t see Long and Smooth. Just as well; I did to have a book with me, and I will be taking him one!!
    Why were we taking about cats?? I honestly can’t remember.
    But I’ll never forget that waiter…..

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  5. Gonzavo’s ADORABLE
    You’re a dork (but you write SO good)
    Long and smooth is cat hair type?
    Pussy x 10 is either how many cats he HAS, or how many Beth HAD (but I thought that was 8) or how many she’d like to have when she’s a Little Old.
    You yelled at me when all I did was like your writing so much it was worth staying up for *whines*

    CARAJO!

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    • uhh, no, long and smooth is not a cat hair type. but it could belong to the hot dog of el perro.

      I seriously have no recollection why were talking about cats. Oh wait! Mandi, was it my bio we were discussing? It does say “I want to live in a tree house with a cat. or ten.” on my twitter bio.

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    • Lizzi, my lovely, I am sorry I yelled, but it was only out of love because 3 AM on a school night is much too late, and I knew you must be up doing something for someone else, and I was right.

      Gonzavo was adorable and a great sport to our naughtiness. Beth and I finally figured it out. We were talking about author bios, and she mentioned wanting to live in a tree house with ten cats. “That’s a lot of pussy.” followed that.

      Thanks for reading this silly little post. In a few months, there will be one more writer in the pictures. AndICan’tWait!!!!!

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      • Ahhh but I’ve had annual leave this week, so I’ve been allowed to stay up late and play. It’s been lovely. And sometimes necessary. But I appreciate your concern, and I know it was out of love but I reserve the right to sulk anyway 🙂 ❤

        Gonzavo sounded like such a sweetheart – Beth told me all about him (she did a GREAT impersonation (I assume)) and I only remembered after I wrote my guess that the author bio had about the ten cats. That really IS a lot of pussy. I'd have to take antihistamines before I visited!

        You know I love your writing – doesn't matter if it's a 'silly little post' or one of your bobby-dazzlers, or even a deliciously long comment left on my blog. Reading you makes me happy.

        And YESSSSSSSS *gets excited* It's going to be surreal and completely AMAZING.

        *grins*

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  6. That was fantastic! I feel like I just had a tipsy night with you two girls! Congrats, again, Beth! So excited for you and can’t wait to read your book! But first, I’m off to vacation to tan my own cellulite. 😉 Oh….and LOVE LOVE Mandi’s book cover!

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    • LEIGH. Hiiiii. I know, isn’t her book cover awesome?!?! She designed it herself! I mean, she came up with the whole concept and had a photographer come to her house and make it happen before she ever sent it to a cover artist to pull it all together.
      And if you ever had margaritas with me and Mandi……the earth would move.

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    • *whines* I want to go on vacation and tan my cellulite. My cellulite needs tanned so badly. I would take a pic, but then…cellulite.

      I have to admit, Leigh Baker, I had a fangirl moment when I saw you commented on my blog. I’ve been following you on facebook since before I ever even started, and to have you here, I feel like I should roll out some red carpet, AND you said you LOVE LOVE my book cover.

      Can I get your autograph real quick before you get on the plane?

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  8. Back in the day, when I was a Latino college student waiting tables, I did OK. I didn’t have the Gustavo accent, though, so I resorted to other tactics: I would make top-shelf margaritas for the Beths who sat in my section. (If she was unfortunate enough to be there with a dude, he’d get a watered-down economy margarita. Why? Because she’d rave about how great my margaritas, and he’s grumble. She’d resent him, and … wait, is there a point to this?)

    that’s a lucky damn waiter, I’ll tell you that. You two, on the patio, at closing time? Dreamy.

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    • Oh, Eli, it’s probably a good thing we never worked together. You sound like my kind of…coworker. I know the margarita trick. I’ve used it, and also some other tricks. I worked at a bar once where we made real kazi shots and fake kazi shots, and when I had minors come in, I would offer them (secretly) the shots and tell them not to tell anyone. I spent so many nights watching minors get drunk on lemonade. It was awesome.

      It also seems that we close down the restaurant every time we get together. That night was dreamy, and not just for Gustavo.

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  9. I am SO excited to hear you have a book coming out lady!! I can’t wait…let me know if I can help in any way! And thank you for sharing about your fun loving sounding friend, Congrats to her and I look forward to checking out her book…I should be done with Outlander 2 finally this weekend, and her book will be next for sure!

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  12. I had a comment to write, but by the time I scrolled down to write it, all that was in my mind was Phil, serving us drinks, in assless chaps.

    I can’t wait til the day when we’re all drinking margaritas together! And btw, LURVE your book cover. xoxoxoxo

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  13. I know I am late to this fiesta but AY DIOS MIO, is right! What crazy fun you two had. Gonzavo, aka Largo y Suave, es muy guapo y largo y suave… Being Latina, I can tell you that many Latino men are caliente, suave y charming. I was in Puerto Rico in February visiting my mother and I was reminded of their chivalrous and sexy ways. Lucky for me, Mr. brickhouse is all of that, minus the Latino part. 🙂 I don’t particularly like gatos but I appreciate the reference. Muchos gatos indeed! Ha,ha! Boy would I love to go out with the two of you! We would be “metiendonos en muchos líos.” 🙂 🙂

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  14. I LOVE margaritas and getting caught in the rain! And I love Beth’s book and I love you guys and my dream scenario would be sipping a margarita with you guys in the rain while reading both of your books. Yes. I will be double fisting the books. Which means I won’t have a spare hand to hold my margarita. So I may have to wear one of those dorky hats with the straw attached while I read. Mucho libros y mucho margaritas! Es bueno…

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  17. I do like Latin men…and I also take notes. I do not like tequila because I liked it too much in the past. I love Beth’s book, and I know I will love yours too!

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