Huz was watching something on the History channel or the National Geographic, something to which, I was paying no attention when he started asking me questions about my dad and his beliefs. For those who don’t know, my dad is a retired minister.
“Do you ever talk to your dad about this stuff?”
“What stuff?”
He started talking saying something about Genesis and creation versus evolution. I resumed ignoring him again. True story, I was reading iamthemilk but outwardly, I said the obligatory, “mmm hmmm. Oh?” and “Really?” nodding my head. I rock fake listening. I’m a preacher’s kid, remember?
“Do you know who said that?” I snapped out of my blog trance and wondered wtf he was talking about.
In my head, I tried to decide if I should even ask or if I could fake it. I thought back on the conversation. What did he ask me? Something about the bible. Oh that’s right…do I know who said that? Pfft. Easy.
“Jesus,” I said with conviction because “Jesus” is a pretty good guess when we’re talking bible, right? Just think about all of the red colored text.
“Dude, can you please put your computer away and listen to me?” Huz said, completely exasperated by my sore attempt at faking it.
I closed my laptop and rolled my eyes. “Fine. Who said what? I’m listening now.”
“’The bible tells us how to go to Heaven not how the Heavens go.’ That is a quote from Galileo.”
To which, I replied, “(Galileo) Galileo. (Galileo) Galileo. (Galileo) Figaro. Magnifico,” which made me laugh. But not my husband.
That’s just a typical conversation in our house. What’s it like in yours?
Cellulite Looks Better Tan 
Hahaaa, Jeeeesuuus, the universally safe answer for most Bible questions in our house too. After a lifetime in the Church culminating with Pastoring for a few years, I’ve finished with religion…I think fake listening is about all I came away with because my faith is based on very little of what they told me.
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Fist bump, REDdog. I hear ya.
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Any and all conversations should end with Bohemian Rhapsody. And all arguments too.
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For the rest of the night, I made Wayne’s World references and sang lots of Queen songs.
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Just think about all the red colored text. Ba ha ha. Brilliant. And I get busted all the time for fake listening, especially when I ask the same question twice b/c I didn’t listen to first response. Oops.
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I hear you, Nicole! I do it ALL the time. He’s starting to catch on. I’m having to unplug more and give him my attention. When did he get so needy?
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I’ve been non-denominational yet highly spiritual with a belief in my Higher Power all of my life, Mandi. I wrote a post last year about some Bible thumpers (no offense intended) that visited my front door. Our mutual friend, Kristi, said I should re-post it. I haven’t done so yet.
Saturday night…live from the household…
Phoenix, alerted to your Subscription alert coming through on email said, “Who is that?”
Me, “An email from Mandi.”
Him, “The girl from Texas?”
Me, “Yes.”
Phoenix, “She’s the hot one with the selfie phobia, right?”
Me, “Careful. She likes you mister.”
Phoenix, “I take selfies with my clothes off.”
Me,”You have fur all over you. Not the same.”
Phoenix, “How so?”
Me, “She’s a human girl and has no fur.”
Him, “And you know this how?!”
Me, “Don’t get weird on me…”
Phoenix, “You’re the one talking to your dog.”
That should just about cover it for now…:)
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Haha, Mike. Thanks for the glimpse into your conversation. Tell Phoenix I said, “what’s up?”
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Funny. I’m ignoring my entire family right now while trolling FB and reading blogs. Jim said, “what do you want for dinner.”
I answered, “Jesus”
didn’t work as well for me. I should’ve tried the rhapsody.
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You made me snork out loud!
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Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy someone else who *snorks out loud*
That or… *raises eyebrow*…it’s another echo.
(for the record, do NOT follow Beth’s scenario to its obvious conclusion. It might be blasphemy of the highest and most hilarious order)
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Now see, I DIDN’T come to THAT obvious conclusion until you mentioned it….so thanks for THAT image 🙂 But yes, it is hilarious!
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Ditto!!!
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Hahahahahaha!!! Should have said, “Galileo.” Or maybe not.
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Actually, you could have said, “Galileo” because I’m pretty sure that’s a brand of wine. I think I used to drink it in college, so I’m not sure it’s good wine, but wine no less.
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We do the dance of ‘how was your day’, once he’s home from work, then we mutually ask permission to (and eagerly agree) ‘plug in’. Then we’re lost until dinner (well, until one of us makes enough hungry noises that the other goes and makes dinner, whereupon we might sit and eat together, silentlyish, in front of an episode of Bewitched. Then we hug for a moment and go back to our virtual worlds.
When we take a long car journey, that’s when we talk. Or if we make time to purposefully go out together.
But we have an invisible ‘I love you’ sign, which we hold up to each other now and again, and catch each other’s eye to let the other person know we care, before going to bed at different times, still buzzing from the input we’ve received from other people.
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Huz doesn’t do social media or anything like it, so I get a lot of grief for the amount of time I spend “playing on my phone” or “playing on my computer”. I have to appreciate that he actually wants to *connect* with me though, so I often scoff and huff and puff, but he’s my favorite person, so if he wants my attention, I don’t mind giving it to him.
I love that you and husby have an invisible “I love you” sign. I have that with my dad and have since I was a little girl.
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Of course this song is now stuck in my head — and then I started wondering….what the HELL was Bismillah and WHO was Scaramouche — and WHY would he do the Fandango? Then, of course, I had to research it and I found out the Bismilliah is an Arabic word meaning “in the name of God” and Scaramouche is an “roguish” Italian clown character (I still don’t know why he would do the Fandango — but sometimes you just gotta dance). Now I have a whole new appreciation for Queen and their unconventional lyrics.
See, you had no idea your post would be educational as well as entertaining! PS — “roguish” is my new favorite word.
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Glad my little post could educate and entertain! Huz would be pleased. I’m pretty sure his daily goal is to teach me some new useless crap that’s taking up space in his brain. And Jana, I love that you did research as a result of my blog post. I’ll have to share your information with my husband.
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I love that your huz is your favourite person.
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I love it, too, Lizzi.
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We don’t generally talk about religion but my husband’s a conspiracy theorist so I hear a lot about aliens and chemtrails. I’ve gotten good at fake listening too. But the one thing I hate is when he says, “And what do you think they found?” or something similar. I don’t know, I didn’t read that article/hear that story/watch that show. I think I’m going to start answering “Jesus.”
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Now, that would be hilarious and “snork” inducing. Do it! Do it! Do it!!!!
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LOL, that story really did make me LOL. 🙂
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Haha, me too, Adria.
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Your huz is so deep! Usually my boyfriend is asking questions like “Can you go get me some more Cheez-its”
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Hahahaha! Well, Cheez-its are pretty good though, in his defense.
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Cheez-its are delicious. I’m with Don!!! The funny thing about him, Kate, is that he sounds like a surfer dude about 90% of the time.
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You and my husband would get along famously. Which makes sense, because I think you are both awesome. The conversations at our house are very similar. Why do I not write blog posts about them like you do? Hmm.
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Hmmm…good question, Dana.
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That’s too funny! You’re the half wit in the family like me, huh? Try to have a serious conversation?? What??? Lol. What’s he all of a sudden interested in your dad’s beliefs for? Jesus, he’s a Baptist minister, right? I think I could guess 98% of them without having met him, unless you say you had an open bar at your reception. That would blow my mind!
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He’s not that interested in my dad’s beliefs. He’s got a hard on over that new show Cosmo’s, and he wanted to discuss it with me. Cosmos? ZzZzZzZzZz
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Omg.. Hysterical!!! I totally would’ve sang that song too! When boy child #2 was a teenager he came into the living room and immediately started machine gunning questions at me, yammering on and on about a paper due or something. I was only half listening – give me the mother of the year award but in my defense I had a few teenagers in my home at the time and they really just start to sound alike after a time. – Anyway, so I finally just say, “Yes honey that’s fine..” To which he replies, “Mom, I just asked you if I could have my boyfriend over and have sex in your bed!” – Ooops.. No. That would not be fine. That would not be fine at all..
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OMG…hilarious and wrong all at the same time. No, that would not be fine at all.
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Maybe now you should change your stock answer to Galileo! We have those ‘mmm hmmm’ conversations all the time. At least on my part. If I say something, after about twelve seconds my husband’s response, “You talkin’ to me?” Yep. I’m married to Robert DeNiro.
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Oh, Sandy, you lucky girl. Robert DeNiro is sexy…expecially his accent.
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Hahahaha this made me chuckle– you’ve seen the video of the guy singing this entire song in the back of a cop car, yes? Please tell me you have, and if not I will remedy it ASAP.
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Remedy me, Aussa. I’m quickly searching google as soon as I finish typing.
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Lovelovelovelovelove!!! And so sorry it took so long to get my non-tanned ass here and comment. This is so familiar to me except the range of topics I do not care for includes theology/computer sciences/WWII trivia and stock/mortgage/insurance/car mechanics. But that’s all, other than that I’m flexible.
Honoured to be featured in such a Galileo Figaro Magnifico post. Off to tweet this. ❤
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Katia, last night he taught me about the constellations. I’m always learning something. Can’t complain about that! So glad you stopped by. I really was ignoring him b/c I was reading about Juan jackass on your blog.
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Yep…guilty as charged! I like you am a Preachers daughter!! And yes, we are great convo-fakers!! We’ll agree with Phil on this! Any & all convo’s & questions should end in Bohemian Rhapsody! Phenomenal video girl, kudo’s to you for a perfect dramatic ending to your philosophical debate!! 😉
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